I don’t care who you are, how old you are, or if you’re the sweetest thing on God’s green earth. At some point and time, someone will hurt you.
“Sticks and stones will break my bones…. but words will never hurt me.” This is the biggest lie ever sung by kids on the playground! An easy fix is to stick some ointment and a band-aid on an external wound, however nothing is harder than healing up an internal hurt. Emotions and the heart can and do take years to heal if the person is willing to let it go and move on. Unfortunately, here’s my recent blog post on why we don’t…..
Found this great link from Anne Jackson at her blogsite Flowerdust.net This article is a must read. She does a great job of explaining the difference between forgiveness (the act of excusing a mistake or offense) and reconciliation (to settle, to make friendly again or win over to a friendly attitude).
Forgiveness benefits YOU! Anyone you need to forgive?
Also….The winner of Margaret Marie’s book is Angie Muresan. Congrats!
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{ 44 comments… read them below or add one }
Forgiveness is such a powerful tool. It does just as much for the person who releases than the person who receives. I remind myself that who am I to not forgive when God releases me everyday- His mercies are new each morning and His compassions do not fail!
Absolutely, well put!
Very powerful post and so very true. God taught me that lesson big time through Beth Moore’s Bible Study, Breaking Free. Great post!
I like Beth Moore. Will look into it. Thanks!
So true. Once we open ourselves to forgiveness, we open our hurts to healing.
There is a difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. There are those things I’ve put behind me, but I’d never pick up again with some of those who’ve hurt me. I may have learned how to forgive them, but it doesn’t mean they’ve learned not to hurt me again.
It is hard to open ourselves up again. Hugs :O)
How awesome!!! The fact that I won, that is. Not the fact of getting hurt by others. I forgive easily, but before I do I get super angry at the person who upsets my happy balance.
Glad to be getting to know you Angie. Enjoy the book!
You’re very right, Diane. We all get hurt. I try to forgive right away but even then, bitterness will still try to sneak in. Great post!
Oh yeah it does.
thanks so much for the repost!
Thanks for stopping by!!! :O)
It’s hard but so worth it!
Agreed!!!!! :O)
Congrats to Angie! And I think I’ll look into that post. Thanks for the link. What I’m usually most afraid of is unintentially saying something that hurt someone else. 99.9% of the time, I don’t mean to be rude, but people might take my words a differenent way than I intend.
Anyway, thanks again for the link.
I have to check myself too. Was it something I said, or is the person overly sensitive for some reason.
Great link- thanks for sharing!
I believe right now my journey is reconciling with myself, no one else, and forgiving myself – that’s a whole ‘nother subject tho, isn’t it?!
Hmmmmm…… blog post forming…..
Forgiveness/reconciliation is important, but one must fully commit (as opposed to the ‘say your sorry’ mentality that keeps everything superficial).
I agree. Just saying it, doesn’t cut it.
We can’t heal without giving forgiveness and only then can reconciliation begin. I know. Good words that bear repeating and heeding. Thanks Diane
Sometimes reconciliation is not a possibility, but the benefits of forgiveness is a step towards my own freedom.
Very powerful post…sometimes forgiveness is all we have…which means we have to figure out how to let go!
Cheers
Oh yes! People die with no second chances so we have to make choices for the here and now and move forward.
I JUST had a talk about this saying with my students. Did my best to debunk the myth. Words are incredibly powerful. They have the power to leave deeper scars than any physical wound ever could.
The problem is no one else can see those hurts and your pain a lot of the time.
Hi Diane -
Power post! When we hold unforgiveness, we are telling God we want to control the situation. When we hand it over to Him through forgiveness, He deals with the person.
On the other hand, relationship takes two people. Scripture says for two to walk together there must be agreement (my paraphrase). Also, we’re to live at peace with others as much as it depends on us.
I’m so glad to see this type of post. There’s so much confusion out there on the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation.
Blessings,
Susan
I like your phrase “as much as depends on us”. So true!
Letting go, moving on and not dwelling in pain. Part of growing older is learning to let go and let God. Harder to do when I was younger. And, yes, childhood torments stay with us forever which is why I’m glad to see such an emphasis on not allowing bullying in schools now.
The schools are definitely cracking down on that. Thanks!
I have the most trouble forgiving myself. I need to reevaluate why I hold on to guilt for sometimes even small things that happen during my parenting. Thank you Diane for this post and making me think. You’re so good at that
Maybe I need to do a post on forgiving ourselves. A common theme I keep hearing about.
Good stuff, thanks for sharing it. Principles to keep in mind always. We’re works in progress, aren’t we?
Blessings,
Karen
Oh yeah, we are. :O)
Willcheck out the links!
I was always saying “what good does it do me to forgive *this person* when they haven’t asked for forgiveness from me? when they never even ackowledged the hurt/pain/devastation they caused (that I allowed them to cause to some degree-which is also a hard bitter pill to swallow – when we are kids, we don’t have choices, when we are adults, we do! ) ”
Someone said, Forgiveness is for the one who was damaged or hurt, not for the one who did it, but it seems empty and hollow if the one who caused the hurt is oblivious.
So, I think of Acceptance and then I think of Letting Go of the anger or whatever … I suppose it’s a form of forgiveness, but I’m not sure what it is.
It helps you! That’s the point, yes!!!
Forgiveness helps me to go on. It might not help the other person. Had to put it to the test this week and see if I could really do it. It’s a process–a day-to-day one in some cases. Good post!
It is a decision that has to be made every day if necessary. Good point Terri!
It is a constant struggle, and our human minds don’t always see the benefits of why God asks us to forgive. It is a burden lifter, and gives us the freedom to move on. If we could only remember that on a daily basis!
It is freeing for us. YES!
Great post!
Thanks Diane!
Forgiveness is essential in life. In most cases, reconciliation is a wonderful thing, but in some cases it is not a healthy option. When you forgive you let go, but if that person(s) refuses to acknowledge how they have hurt you sometimes it’s better to let go of that person(s).
Diane, when I was in elementary school I broke an arm and a finger, got 30+ stitches in my head at various times, even spent a couple nights in the hospital after a bike accident. Aside from a few scars, there is no evidence of those mishaps.
But I still carry in my memory the unkind words of one particular girl. I don’t hurt from them anymore, but every now and then I remember them and it still makes me sad.
Had the opportunity to reconcile with a classmate at my 20th high school class reunion this past summer. That was very cool!