Ever play this game?
Shoulda decided it was a great day to just lay on the couch all day, watch TV and rest. Yeah, she should of wrote out thank you notes, returned phone calls, gone to the grocery store and cleaned the bathroom until it was spotless, but Shoulda didn’t. She just decided it wasn’t going to happen today, so why live with the anxiety of what she should have been doing and just take a day off? Shoulda feels guilt. Maybe Shoulda stayed up with a sick kid/pet/spouse/herself all night and is physically too exhausted to “function” today.
Woulda would have loved to meet a friend for lunch, but she had too many errands to run. She could invite the friend over to her house instead, but that would of involved having to pick up and dust and she would if only she had felt like it. Maybe if the stars were aligned perfectly it would of happened, but unfortunately she has ten more things on her “to do” list to check off. Woulda feels inadequate. Maybe Woulda is being pulled in too many directions and needs to learn how to just say no.
Coulda just wants his own way. Yeah, he could go and visit his Grandfather in the nursing home, but that would involve some discomfort on his part and he does not want to feel uncomfortable. This was his time and he could have the opportunity to do whatever he wants to do. It was his day off and he really wanted to make the most of it and just enjoy his time the way he wants to. He could really use a mental break. Coulda feels selfish. Maybe Coulda has had one of the worst weeks of his life at work. He is under constant stress of losing his job and the boss has yelled at him repeatedly that he needs to work harder and do more to meet expectations.
Anything sound familiar? Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda, are our worst enemies. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t live in regret. Take things one day at a time and give yourself some grace when things are wonky in your life. Anybody else playing the shoulda, woulda coulda game? Wanna play Scrabble with me instead?
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{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, you’re so right. I don’t like that game either.
But I’ll definitely play Scrabble with you.
This is by far my favorite post that you have ever written.
I shoulda, woulda, AND coulda…..but, you already knew that.:D
Definitely would rather play Scrabble! I agree, it’s best to live in each moment and find joy there!
This is the best post! Ever. Should, coulda, woulda hover over most of my days. Thanks for giving me some encouragement in this area! Wow- this really blessed me today.
That’s the game that never ends! I’d much rather play Scrabble…
Oh my! Been there, done that so many times! Good way to look at it.
Thanks and blessings,
Karen
Wonderful article, Ms. Estrella. Life is truly about relationships and strengthening those key relationships in our lives.
Oh, so true! I play this game way too often, and you’re right – we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves. Scrabble sounds much better.
Thanks….I needed this today!
Cool thingy! I’m not sure I’ve read that before. I’d love to play scrabble!!!
Been there, darling!
xoxox,
CC
I shoulda, woulda, and coulda my way through my day.
Wish I could play Scrabble with you! Love it.
I spend way too much time in the “shoulda” world. I have to move on for sure.
I play “woulda, coulda, shoulda” all the time, and it never plays out well! Thanks for the reminder!
Well said my friend!
Oh yes! Until a great friend of mine gave my some great advice: “Stop ‘shoulding’ yourself”. Say it fast and you’ll get it. Now I repeat that over and over when the guilt threatens.
I’ve had one of “those” weeks. Today, I pretty much vegged out. I needed it, but felt guilty. Thanks for giving me a different perspective.
Love Scrabble!
Don’t be too hard on yourself Susan! Love and hugs :O)
I remember when the Saint’s unofficial motto given by one of the couches was “coulda shoulda woulda” — well, now look at them–SUPERBOWL CHAMPIONS! *smiling* a lesson there!
(as to your comment about harry connick jr *laugh* — I’ve tried to find a way to contact him, but there’s a huge wall protecting him from us crazies ….haw!*)
Drat!
Scrabble sounds great! We definitely need balance, and we have to let ourselves off the hook so we can enjoy life. There will always be something in the house that needs cleaning.
Shoulda, Woulda, & Coulda are a little evil. LOL I’m up for scrabble because I don’t like playing with Should, Would, or Coulda!